The Grass is Green

26/27-August-2008

2008-08-27T05:47:05Z

Today at work, Amy was showing me how to put boxes in the proper place... and they all fell on her head. Hahahaha. It was so funny.
Then I got hit with one. So it was karma for laughing. I like work :) I don't like going but once I'm there it's great.
So I met this guy Jeff. He is wicked cool. not gunna lie, I'm starting to like him.
But he just seems like a ladies man. He's freaking cute as all hell.
But as I've heard [him even agreeing to it] he's a bit of a whore.
And has been asking about a friend of mine. Which really makes me sad.
Because I've gone through this before this same year, and I don't like it.
I'm vulnerable. VERY, I'm starting to notice.
Then of course there is Eric. The kid I can't have, because my parents don't like the age difference.
If I was older it'd be different and as much as I don't want to, I totally understand.
But he is so amazing.
So I'm lost. I'm going to try so hard not to get caught up in guys this year.
Maybe I'll stay single for a while.
Hopefully. It's been like 9 months which, and let me proudly say, is a record for me.

Yeah that is kinda "slutty" sounding but I really could care less.
Because I haven't made out, had sex or any of that.
I'm happy being single.
But I'm jealous when I see others happily with their girlfriend or boyfriend.
It kind of really sucks.

But I guess I'm gunna have to get over it huh?
I'll try.
It's just sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me.
Because the people who like never shower are happily with others who don't shower.
And it's like, I do shower... and brush my teeth... and I'm nice.
Why doesn't anybody like me? Of course I should re-word this.
Why doesn't anybody I would want to be in a relationship with like me?

Really... it upsets me at times.
I have this day dream that my parents let me be with Eric.
I want that so badly. I should probably say, he's 20. I'm sixteen.
So you see my dilema.

But I also have a day dream of some random new hot guy, totally falls for me.
I would love this.

I want a Jack Dawson.
Mannn that would be freakin' sweet!!!

*Sigh* This I know probably won't happen any time soon.

:(

Well I should go to bed now.
I've been attempting too, but it hasn't worked.
So I decided to vent.

Goodnight.

Jessi
xxxx

Bored

2008-08-26T06:49:52Z

So school starts in like less than three days. Ughhh. I am happy to go back but I'm really not at the same time. I wish it was an easier task then it is.
I just don't know. Maybe because I don't have a boyfriend, it'll be easier.
I used to be so focused on Lucas because he meant so much to me and I didn't give a shit about work.
So now that I don't have anybody, maybeee it'll be easier.
I can only pray it is.
I'm still having boy problems.
I like 2 guys.
The past 2 times I've gotten screwed over.
But the second time I didn't really.
He's just 4 years older than me and my parents aren't happy about it.
He was sweet about it though.
He cares what they think which is so amazing to me.
The other guy is just a dink.
The new guy, I met two Friday's ago.
He's cool. I don't know him that well.
But, not gunna lie, I'm starting to like him a little.
But he's a bit confusing.
But so cute.
Ahhh. Focus!
On school work.
I have my awesome coach first period!
But not on the first day of school :(.
Ohh well.
The second day I do, though!
OMG I have to buy NYD shoes. They are AMAZING!!!!
I love New Years Day they freaking rock.
Ahhh I want a pair so badly!!
So cute. Anyways I'm going now. SO tired.

nightt!

Jessi
xxxx

Stupid Girls;

2007-08-17T05:45:20Z

who cheat on their poor boyfriends and lie about it to keep the relationship going. My poor friend was like dying because he was told abunch of shit about his girl friend, WOW. I hated her before but now, no noooo. I despise her. she's a whore if she really did do all that shit!! UGH!

AHHH!

2007-07-27T18:40:18Z

This song :[ I cried myself to sleep listening to this.

10 months.

2007-07-17T18:21:28Z

Soooo...

2007-07-15T04:08:01Z

I'm back annnd. Yeah.
I'm going crazy.
hahaha having a funny convo with my buddy Dylan.
Bahahahaha.
:] he's the shit.
Ohhhh yeah.
:D
I signed up to win a date with Nick Jonas.
Hope to crazyyy I win.
:]]

Gone

2007-06-27T14:48:33Z

Yes I am very much so leaving today.
For 2 weeks.
NH, then to Ohio.
And eventually back here.
But it wasn't such a happy last day.
As I found out 2 of my friends,
go behind my back when "Mad" at me,
and bash me until theres nothing left to say...
48 hours later.
It hurts.
A LOT.
To even think I trusted them.
And the worst part...
They do it together.
Making fun of me,
trashing me,
pointing out all of my little flaws.
I'm not perfect.
And I refuse to trust them with ANYTHING.
EVER again.
And they are so hypocritial, and FAKE.
Stealing peoples words, trying to be better.
Plastic, that's what they are.
I feel bad saying this but I have had enough.
I've put up with it for way too long.
I'm crushed that two people could be so heartless.
Then come back and say "I love yooou!"
No NO! NO!NO!! you DON'T!
And I am through with sticking around because I wanted you to like me.
That's the old me. Stupid, vulnerable.
I'm a new brave soul.
I can do what ever I want.
And you can't stop me anymore because I'm too "annoying".
Or something.
This is what I get for trying to please others.
PAIN!
I hope everyone thinks before doing this to somebody.
For real because it hurts like a BITCH when you find out through another friend.
One that cares.
I'm fed up with society and how it works.
Life's such a popularity contest.
Please think twice before saying,
really.
Be smart, unlike these two.

"Best Friends Forever"?
KISS MY ASS!

yeah soooo

2007-06-25T21:17:31Z

I LOVE MCFLY AND SON OF DORK!

:]

So...

2007-06-23T21:08:28Z

Yeah so I was listening to Eddie's song and it made me think. And his life is really sad. Not knowing her has 27 kids.
I think rockstars are just so lame sometimes.
If they wanna fuck everyone they can just cause their famous,
and can get anyone.
Wow... How lame can they get.
And those kids...
:[ they'll never know.
And they'll grow up without a daddy.
I'd die without my daddy.
:-\

I'm doing nothing! GR!!!

2007-06-21T20:37:13Z

I am soo bored :[ I need something to do! *cries* I've been sitting here all day being bored. With nobody to hang out with because their all busy. Or too far away. Or grounded. Or working. I am so sad!

I need something to do!!!!!!!! Before I go crazy! :[
Youtube is only entertaining for so long...
And the phone get's boring...
I am complaining... I'll shut up.
Oh hey I just found a new band.
Son Of Dork...
hahahah their good!
James Bourne from Busted is in it!!!
The video is above... I dunno why but that's where it went.
Omg I love them. Their soooo good!!!
I think I just have a thing for U.K bands.
g2g boyfriends here. Not bored anymore :]

-Jessi

booored

2007-06-21T05:28:38Z

I'm sooooo bored. I'm watching Inuyasha at 1:22am talking to my bestie Steph. I'm hungry... and im in love with McFly. hahahaha. Inuyasha s sooo corny but I LOVE IT. I wish it was on earlier then this. Dannng. I'm going to miss watching it for I won't be able to for a few weeks. I'll be in NH or Ohio. Yay?? NH i'm excited about. Ohio...not so much. I dunno. We'll see what happens.
-Jessi

Awww I love Mcfly SO much!!!

2007-06-21T02:06:36Z

this is cute and kinda sad.
I love McFly SOOOO much!!
Their the SWEETEST!

Confused

2007-06-21T01:53:12Z

I don't understand... I shouldn't be confused.
It isn't supposed to be this way.
I'm so confused.
I just get annoyed easily that's it!
Correct. Mhm I'm on top of things.
Excited and I can't wait until the 14th.
It's going to be soooo fun! Mhm!!!